When Trust Feels Risky: Learning to Live as Victors

Posted April 29, 2025 by Theresa Miller

Categories: Featured, Popular Posts, Sister Post, Theresa

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

Romans 8:37

Broken Promises

We live in a world filled with broken promises. I learned this reality early in my life, which caused me to place little faith in people—even those who were trustworthy. I approached the world through a lens of skepticism and doubt before allowing myself to build trust with anyone.

The problem with this approach is that it breeds constant fear of disappointment, reinforcing the validity of our doubts. Additionally, it creates unhealthy expectations of others. We see people as either good or bad, and we expect those who are good to be perfect. We attempt to protect ourselves from further hurt or discomfort and build defensive walls around us. If I am honest, I still have this tendency, but I learned long ago that what was true in my childhood and young adult years is not the proper lens to serve me as an adult. 

Have you felt let down in life? Have you experienced rejection, betrayal, or disappointment? We all have, to some extent. However, this is not God’s intention, nor is it where He wants us to remain. Bad things happen this side of heaven, but what if we sought a different lens through which to view life and people? What if we accepted the lens of Christ’s finished work on the cross and saw the world through it? What if we chose the lens that captures eternity in light of our suffering? Hurt people hurt people, and it can feel excruciating, but we do not have to remain the victim. Thankfully, Jesus saved us from the taunts of hell. 

The Enemy’s Camp

Isn’t it true that the taunts of hell are where our pain, doubt, and distrust linger when we camp there too long? We often find ourselves lingering in the enemy’s camp, where he taunts us with fear and control. He feeds us lies that replay in our minds, convincing us that people are our enemies, even though they are not.

As Ephesians 6:12 tells us,

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

In this camp, we become highly defensive and easily offended. So, how do we transition from a victim mentality to a victor’s reality in light of Christ’s sacrifice?

Christ’s Finished Work

To fully understand the significance of Christ’s finished work on the cross, we must recognize its implications. His suffering and death paid our debt in full, addressing our sins as well as the wrongs committed against us. The cross symbolizes forgiveness, while the power of His resurrection offers transformation and healing. It signifies that we do not have to remain trapped in suffering or cling to a victim mentality. Through Jesus’ sacrifice, we are cleansed and freed from our burdens. This includes the chains of unforgiveness that keep us bound to our pain and to those who have hurt us.

In our upcoming episode of our Sisters on Purpose podcast, we have a conversation with Dr. Zoe Shaw about her new book, “Stronger in the Difficult Places,” where she explores the complexities of shame. In this episode, Dr. Zoe emphasizes that we must forgive ourselves and learn to trust ourselves before we can fully trust God. This process may involve honest journaling or discussing our feelings with a trusted friend or counselor. Regardless of whether we have caused pain or been hurt by others, we must examine the situation and identify areas where we may blame ourselves. We can begin an essential healing process that fosters healthy boundaries and relationships with others by forgiving ourselves for our actions or inactions.

Transitioning from Victim to Victor 

Inviting Jesus into our healing process is essential. It empowers us in the work of forgiveness and helps us avoid adopting a victim mentality. This shift allows us to move away from what we strive to achieve for ourselves or what we believe others should do for us, focusing instead on what Christ has already accomplished. Transitioning from a victim mentality to a victor’s mindset requires humility, courage, and surrender as we rely on Jesus as our sole Savior. Ultimately, we can live as victors when we start to view others as individuals who also need freedom, and we lovingly guide them toward that freedom, whether through practical means or prayer.

We live in a world filled with brokenness and mistrust. However, as we diligently work through our shame, we will learn to trust the one whose character remains unchanging (Heb. 6:18). When we believe this truth about Christ’s finished work and His promises, it transforms our perspective. It liberates us to live in the power of Christ’s resurrection, which brings sanctification, forgiveness, and healing. Through Christ’s resurrection, we are empowered to view broken individuals with compassion rather than contempt.

To be honest, my default is still to view people I don’t know with a smidge of skepticism. But I’ve learned to align my heart and thoughts with God’s heart and Word. With a little prayer offering, compassion and kindness quickly follow. The key is not that we arrive at perfection on this side of heaven, but intentionally choose the lens to view the world with. When we see Christ as our lens and eternity as our focal point, we will be equipped to live in the reality of our victory.

Even when trust feels risky, God secures us in the promise of His covenant through His finished work on the cross. This is the victory we have the privilege to live into! Not only has Christ guaranteed us eternity with Him, but we can also experience His presence and abundance right now, even amid struggles and broken promises. 

Consider whether you have a victim mentality or are living a victor’s reality. Do you see others as threats who can harm you, or do you view them as individuals needing freedom and hope? If you carry the weight of a victim mentality, honestly reflect on its root causes. Invite Jesus into your pain. Write about the difficult emotions you are experiencing and ask God to guide you toward your next step in healing. Remember, sister, it is a process. We don’t fully arrive at healing on this side of heaven. We trust ourselves to take that step toward Christ when surrender feels hard, and then trust that God will do the work in us, little by little. In a world of promise-breakers, Jesus is our Promise-keeper. He will do it!

For deeper study: Invite the Holy Spirit into this space, as you read Romans, Chapter 8. Read it slowly, absorb the words, and journal through it. What stands out most to you about what Christ’s finished work means?  

If this topic resonates with you, you will be blessed by Theresa’s Bible study, “The Posture of Victory: Finding True Peace amidst Our Everyday Battles,” releasing in July. Follow Theresa here to learn more about her study!